Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
