2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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