People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
