Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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