R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
im holly from the hills drunk
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I touched a dick in church today
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
