There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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