I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize