brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize