I cockslap morals
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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