The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Randomize
