I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
