Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
