I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
