I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
