nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
