I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
