I must be too annoying 4 u.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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