Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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