So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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