i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
