Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize