There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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