you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Nobody cheats on THIS.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
