i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
it's like iHOP with fire
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
A+ Viking dick
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
