C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
