Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
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I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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