oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
