All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
