Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You are the jesus of drinking
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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