i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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