dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
