i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
