There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just pee around me
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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