She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
