Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
