why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So many bounce houses so little time
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
