it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
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Going to get a "plan B"urrito
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
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There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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