Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
