I CAN MOONWALK!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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