i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
