The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
