I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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