There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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