Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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