i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize