You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
