omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize