i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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