I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
