when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
