Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
