Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
