it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize
