That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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