I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You are the jesus of drinking
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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