Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We had sex on a dog bed..
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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