No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
