yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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