im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
