Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
