I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
